Friends are people who we are attached to with feelings of affection with friendly relations.
Friends come and go as we grow and age. The fact is that the older we get, we should have come across more friends as compared to previous when we were young, but why is it on the contrary that we were much happier as a child playing with our friends.
Looking at our present self, as adults, is there any body whom you can really consider friends? People who share your both your worries and joy plus the special moments of laughter together.
As a child, we have limited friends, but it is those limited friends but are quality friends whom we can share our joy, happiness and worries bonding together easily without worries for backstabbing, credit stealers, spies or trickery. It is such a pure decent and simple friendship as a child.
Adults literally and technically have less than a handful of people considered to be friends. Who do you speak do when you are lonely at night and cannot sleep? Is there someone who comes to you mind that you want to speak to but is worried if your privacy may be compromised if you share it with your friend who works and have common friends as you?
As we grow, the purpose and desire eventually exceeds our basic need for friendship, thus closing door to communication, and with peer pressure, society pressure for survival, we lose contacts with people whom we once were closed to and become acquaintance.
While I was typing this post, than realized that it is possible to still have friends whom we can trust but only on condition that both parties absolutely have no common friends, thus in this situation, it wil purely be a heart to heart talk, without worries that secrets will be spilled and passed around eventually becoming the gossip topic of the work place or conversion topic among your friends.
Thinking back, as a teenager, it was when I started to understand friends, and starting to know quality friends. Either gender will do, just so as long as he/she is there to companionship, to play, to talk, and go out together.
When I was twelve years old, I got to know a friend in a tuition center with Chinese Development Assistant Council Program at Hong Wen Primary and few months later we met again in the same secondary school and in the same class. It was than at that moment, we both became instant friends at first sight, no questions asked. That best friend relationship lasted only a year plus before it subsides into close friend status.
Soon after another classmate became my best friend, in the same group of friends in the class due to same topic and recreation club but it wasn’t long before being replaced by another person as we both travelled back home on Mass Rapid Train together back after school. While we may share different interest and subjects, but at least we share something in common, the heart to accompany each other in silence without talking. That was when I understand true friendship. Be it happiness or sad, as long as somebody is there for you, no speech, it’s the thought and presence that matters most.
After secondary school, we each went our separate paths, but still remain as close friends despite no longer having any common topic. When I got into polytechnic, it was when I really got to know and make friends with females, on much closer terms as compared to secondary school whereby I do not speak to females other than school work related.
Thankfully I had a good wonderful first year with Republic Poly in Tanglin Campus in both terms with different but wonderful classmates which remind me of my primary school days. Happy without worries or having to worry about no common topic as we all shared the same thing in mind, how to spend the day in class acting intelligent and hardworking but in fact we are just playing games, watching videos online which was fun.
Sharing games, nice videos, food topics and even on how to penalize each other in presentation so as to score high marks for ourselves, but nothing personally, all those penalizing of each other surface and stays only within the classroom, in particular only during presentation time at the question and answer fifth presentation which compromises of five groups followed by sixth presentation (model presentation) by the facilitator.
During poly days, I got to know a person from Friendster in year 2005, and it wasn’t long before I found another true friend who I can speak my mind out, only that this time, that person was a she as compared to previous three times he among the secondary group of friends.
Text messaging each other deep in the night when we had difficulty sleeping if not just wanting somebody to talk to. Thus I would just cycle over and chat before returning back home to sleep. That did not last long either, it spread over two years plus, but technically counting the number of days, its less than a month, but what makes it so memorable was the connection and trust with secrets. Not long after, due to education parted ways. Gap widens like in earlier years in school.
Thinking back, have we ever had any trusted friends as adults to speak to? Seriously at present moment, I cannot think of any. As we each pursue our own dreams, vision, work or education, spreading our wings, walking closer towards the path of loneness and pretending to be friendly to each other to climb higher.
Like-wise in business, at work, while we all desire to find real friends, but in fact it is running away further beyond our reach at the expense of money for survival just to fill our stomach. Adults have little to near zero true friends. Most of the people befriend each other just for a hidden agenda to climb and gain support from colleagues for pay rise and nothing more than it.
Where can I find my next true friend? Or will it forever just be a dream only? Perhaps. .. Another lonely night with nobody to talk to.
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